Gross is a good adjective to describe airplane lavs.No matter how clean they get them,as soon as you mix a man peeing and turbulence it’s all over. Think about it, they have trouble with their aim at home standing still. Ok, now that I have that covered, my big question is, why do people take their shoes off on the airplane? It’s bad enough that some people take their shoes off and put their stinky feet on the bulk head wall or our tray tables (people do use the table to eat)but to get up and go to the lav? Super gross. Seriously, don’t do it and especially don’t let your kids do it.You’re sure to get some yucky fungus if you do.If you’ve gone to the lav barefoot and you got a funny look from the Flight Attendant, that’s why.

Another thing that is perplexing is the person that brings the newspaper in with them to read. There is usually a line, I don’t think your fellow passengers are appreciative of that.I know when I see a passenger enter the lav with a paper, it only means one thing…find another lav to use, thank you very much.

The Mile High Club, yes, I have seen a few inductions. Not me, I don’t even like to brush my hair in there!The most horrifying thing that I’ve seen on the airplane, was a man in First Class enjoying a paperback book with his left hand and pleasuring himself with his right hand….true story….luckily this was pre 9-11 and the First Officer was kind enough to come out and speak to him.

One last note on the lavs, remember to lock it. I’ve walked in on too many people,the worst being a man with a paper.

The lavs aren’t the only stink on the plane. Red eye flights are the worst, everyone usually falls asleep and as you walk through the aisle all you smell is bad breath and fart. Other than that and trying to stay awake, they’re the easiest flights to work.On occasion there will be someone with B.O. so bad the whole plane suffers, so please people shower before a big travel day.

And one last comment on stinky airplanes, Flight Attendants have a phrase called “crop dusting”. All I’m going to say is if a Flight attendant walks by and all of a sudden you think your neighbor passed wind, it was probably the cute stewardess:)