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These jokes are really funny, you may not get some of them if you aren’t in the airline industry.(all you really need to know is pilot’s are known for being “cheap.” Sorry, pilots, it’s a stereotype…I know not all are but there are a few out there!) I know my fellow FA’s will appreciate these, they had me laughing pretty hard. Hopefully, my pilot friends won’t be offended…it’s all in good fun! I invite you to find some FA jokes: )
Q: Why did the pilot die shortly after retirement?
A: His wife didn’t know to feed him every 2 hours.
Q: What does a captain use for birth control?
A: Personality.
Q: What if that doesn’t work?
A: Layover clothes.
Q: Did you hear about the captain who took his wife out for dinner and a movie?
A: They got on the non-stop to L.A.
Q: Why was the Ohare employee cafeteria closed last week?
A: A captain rented it for his daughter’s wedding reception.
Q: Why don’t pilots vacation with their families?
A: It’s too difficult to get the jumpseat.
Q: How was the Grand Canyon formed?
A: A pilot dropped a quarter.
Q: How was copper wire invented?
A: Two pilots found a penny at the same time.
Q: What do you call a crew of pilots tipping the hotel van driver?
A: The March of dimes.
Q: What do pilots yell at football games?
A: “Get the quarter back!”
Q: How can you tell a pilot on a layover from a homeless person?
A: The homeless person is the one buying a newspaper.
Q: What’s the difference between a pilot and God?
A: God doesn’t think he’s a pilot.
Q: What’s the difference between Jeffery Dahmer and a pilot?
A: Dahmer didn’t eat every leg.
Q: What’s the difference between a duck and a Flight Engineer?
A: The duck can fly.
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Q: What’s the difference between an FA and a jet engine?
A: The engine stops whining at the gate.
I love it!
hahaha, these are amazing! I must remember them! 🙂
They’re all true! It’s because pilots make so little money at the (endless) beginning of out careers that by the time pilots are actually taking home paycheques that cover more than rent and Kraft Dinner, they don’t know how to spend money.
I hadn’t heard the “dinner and a movie” one before. And I always heard the whining one about pilots, too.
Ha..ha..ha…Keep the FA jokes coming!
Aviatrix, That makes TOTAL sense! Thanks for having a good sense of humor, I have a lot of friends who are pilots…and a lot of friends who are married to pilots, I do know how hard you work to get to the big payday: ) You definitely pay your dues! Kraft dinner, that’s funny all by itself…I’ve dined on a bit of Kraft myself: )
Warning: these are a little on the nasty side.
Q: What’s another difference between a FA and a jet engine?
A: It’s a big problem if an engine stops whining in flight.
Q: What do FAs and turbofans have in common?
A: Both are so empty that you can see through them on the ground.
Q: What’s the difference between a newbie FO and an APU?
A: Kicking an APU never solved anything.
Q: What’s the difference between a light aircraft and a Canada Goose?
A: Light aircraft just occupy airspace; geese at least produce fertilizer.
Q: What’s the difference between getting arrested and flying commercial?
A: Holding cells have more leg room than airline seats and arrestees are entitled to due process.
Q: What’s the difference between a pilot and an airport janitor?
A: The janitor has better job security and no training loans to pay back.
Q: What’s the biggest joke in commercial aviation?
A: Airline management.
The Golden Age of Aviation are but dusty memories now.
Goodnight Waldo Waterman, Pancho Barnes, Frank Tallman, Paul Mantz, Frank Clark, Orville, Wilbur……..
But the jokes stand the test of time!!
The airline management joke is very true!
Check out this post from acaptainslog, it’s from last year and it’s a long post but is hysterical, especially for airline people…http://acaptainslog.blogspot.com/2008/03/cheap-bastards.html